Today’s Reason To Drink

absolut-vodka-man
Vex the vodka!

My friend Bunny posted a link on my Facebook page about a Huffington Post piece proclaiming that whiskey-swilling women are killing vodka. I consider myself one of these whiskey-swilling broads, and I’m happy to see vodka’s sales dropping.

I think of vodka the same way I think of vanilla ice cream — it’s a blank palette that is begging for art in the form of taste and flavor. It lacks originality and personality.

The story also blames the saturation of flavored vodkas into the market as a reason for the decrease in vodka sales — there’s just too much (the story says there are more than 600 flavored brands)! Do we really need a Gummy Bear-flavored drink? Fruit Loops? Cinnabon? Tang? OK, we can keep the latter, but what the hell?

Order that scoop of Rocky Road and a Woodford Double Oaked on the rocks and put some damn flavor into your life! If you’re counting calories, then at least try gin, or order a bourbon and do a squat-thrust or two at the bar.

For fuck’s sake, people, vex the vodka.

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