Drunk Texts of the Week

  • manI’m a one train station woman
  • The first rule in soft porn club … don’t talk about soft porn club
  • If you liked it then you should have put a pickle in it
  • I was going to make cookies but I masterbated instead
  • 50 shades of gross
  • Oh i opened a box of wine. It’s slightly safer than opening a can of whoopass
  • I had to plow my own yard!
  • I only love porn when there’s a story attached, and it can’t involve the pool boy!
  • I bit into it, and it was a volcano of sauce
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