Drunk Texts of the Week

textsLordy B … it’s been a while since I’ve posted drunk texts. I’ve still been gathering them all along, though, so don’t fret! In the new year, I promise to be more diligent with my drunk text blogs.

Lord knows I don’t have a shortage.

(cue drum roll) The Drunk Texts of the Week are …

  • Daniel Radcliffe’s delicious asshole is appropriate
  • This corn tastes like Kate Winslet’s tears
  • Sometimes vodka can be so embarrassing
  • Pap that schmear
  • I am a classy lady. I wipe the seat after I spray it down.
  • Is that government housing or a rick house?
  • Why is everyone tossing TSwift’s salad?
  • Was there a great wind tonight?
  • I would much rather be your cum bucket then your dump bucket
  • Everything good needs a quick smack before you do something with it
  • Someone said to listen to Fleetwood Mac in the shower with the lights off and a candle, it’s very sensual.
  • Her car is older than her girlfriend
  • I know a good bang when I see one
  • Mac & Cheese creams my lady parts
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