My next girlfriend will enjoy bourbon. She’ll like going to random events — some we will stay at way too late, and others we’ll bail after five minutes. She will hold my hand while we talk to strangers and acquaintances. She won’t mind if I’m pulled away for a few minutes. She will be able to hold her own.
My next girlfriend will roll her eyes at my jokes and only laugh when they’re funny. (So I may never hear her laugh.) I’ll catch her gaze across the room and know exactly what she’s thinking: Time to go. One more? Can’t wait to get you home. Can you believe what he’s wearing?
My next girlfriend will be able to communicate and not be afraid of honesty. She’ll have numerous opinions on everything from show whales at Sea World to the slashing of arts funding across the country. She’ll have empathy and patience and swagger and a sense of humor.
My next girlfriend will not yell at me. She will genuinely like me for me but will challenge me to become a better version of myself. She won’t need me to feel complete, and I won’t need her to fill a void. We will make each other laugh, make each other take a breath, make each other dinner, and make each other feel wanted.
Anyone know where my next girlfriend might be? I’ve got a bourbon event on Thursday and need a date.