Louisville Cream should be illegal. Or maybe just illegal for me.
There I was, scrolling through Facebook yesterday, looking at weekend pictures from people I don’t know, watching dog videos, and spying on the life of that one girl who hated me in high school — and ka-blam! — a decadent image of melty ice cream atop a cone popped up.
But this wasn’t any ice cream.
This was peanut butter-flavored ice cream that had been rollin’ in the hay with cookies & cream. Cookie smudges were all over the place. Damn the Louisville Cream people for capturing this food porn and making me watch it!
Of course I immediately stopped in after lunch for an affair of my own. And as I sat in that awful downtown construction traffic, licking my cone, I was in pure bliss.
And then, not five minutes after returning to my work computer, I again scrolled through Facebook to refocus my mind — and ka-blam! — there was ANOTHER cone porn photo from Louisville Cream, this time touting their new Coffee & Smores concoction.
How did I even miss this flavor while I was there? How can I be craving another scoop when I just inhaled one? Is there a god?
Seriously. It’s been on my mind since I first glimpsed it, and the only way to diminish those fattening flames is to go try it for myself.
I’m trying to lose weight here, people. And you’re making ice cream with smores and coffee and peanut butter and Oreos? How is a person supposed to win in this situation?
Why can’t Louisville Cream make ice cream out of asparagus? How about broccoli & tofu? Or maybe peas & baby veal? That way I could make it through every day without the urge for ice cream.
Give a girl a break, would ya?