Drunk Texts of the Week

It’s been a while, drunk texts … nice to see you again! Is that vodka or suppressed homosexuality? Brownies is not Stout I’m fired up and ready to throw punches to a rose bush! The Japanese are so ahead in electronics but so far behind in malt liquor Our relationship reminded me of Dawson’s Creek […]

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Drunk Texts of the Week

They’re here, and they’re better than the new “Poltergeist” knockoff! Here’s this week’s installment of Drunk Texts. Enjoy. I promise to do better and post them more often. • That’s not a shot, it’s a drink without ice! • I feel like I’ve been ridden hard and put away wet • How can you play well with others […]

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Drunk Texts of the Week

• Dick cheese is better than afterbirth  • Hugging her is like hugging a hornets nest • The last few sips of margaritas taste like semen • Cropdusting in a Speakeasy • Jesus had nothing to do with your cropdusting  • If it catches on fire, I need it in my mouth! • Take a […]

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